I am loving the questions that are coming my way here! Thank you all.
Here’s a great one:
“While performing Yoni Worship, if my partner doesn’t have the belief that she is a form of the divine deity, will that hamper my achievement through worship? What measure shall I take?”
Goddesses need more people like you!
Recent scientific studies show us that it only takes about seven repeated actions to change the brain. Considering this fact, it is reasonable to expect that you are making a difference in your partner’s consciousness. How could she not feel ‘honored’ with the time, focus and presence that is a part of any ritual to honor the Yoni? If she is willing to have you put your attention on her, especially for at least a few sessions, then she will move closer to feeling herself as a manifestation of the Goddess. She will treat you as more God-like also. The spiral will spin upwards and engulf both of you.
In any Tantric practice, involving partners, it isn’t necessary to have your partner even be aware of what you are practicing. It helps tremendously, of course, but it isn’t necessary. Both of you will benefit from the experiences and the ‘unknowing’ one may actually fall right into a sort of natural Tantric rhythm once a few sessions have happened. Having your partner/lover not interested is no reason not to proceed!
Because we all have multiple was of learning (learning styles) it may be helpful for you to employ some of these techniques:
Use Your Words:
Liberally use words, phrases, empowerment statements and sexy, non-verbal sounds to embellish your touch. Remind her of what you love about her. Tell her to relax and focus on the feelings, both physical and emotional, that she is noticing. Tell her she is the Goddess to you and that this helps you to honor all women by having a real life representation to practice with. Words are important to help a person relax, to stay aware and present, link emotional components with physical touch and healing and to help convey a feedback loop such that she understands that you are intimately ‘with her’ in the experience.
When we hear words and connect them, even unconsciously, to our physical experiences we have anchors by which to go back to a feeling state and relive it for ourselves. This is good and bad. You can imagine that in a situation of anxiety and stress, like war, this is something that can cause years of mental health problems. But in a situation where pleasure is involved the use of positive words can reinforce the physical message in good ways. Ultimately, just hearing the words can flood the person, that had the experience, with pleasurable feelings all over again.
Use Your Hands Liberally
Get into the practice of always using both of your hands for pleasuring. This includes giving oral sex. None of us get enough good touch. Learn to use your hands in many ways to express yourself to your lover. You can use them in ways to spread the energy being created so that your partner learns to use that energy to expand their conscious pleasure. You an use them to add to the pleasure by doing things that she loves to have done like breast messaging or inner thigh message.
The more ‘actions’ you perform, at one time, the more embedded and ‘fixed’ the results will be in the brain. If, for instance, you also deeply sigh on purpose throughout your ritual you will begin to notice that she will deeply sigh on cue with you. This is our ‘mirror neurons’ working. This will create a feedback loop in her that will not only allow her to relax into the ritual more full but she will also be able to bring back that ‘sigh’ to her regular life. She will immediately experience a bodily ‘remembering’ of the pleasure when she sighs!
During the times that you aren’t creating a ritual around lovemaking, this same ‘remembering’ experience will help her to have freer and more satisfying orgasms. She’ll expand on her own the experiences she had during the ritual. You are actually teaching her psyche to include new tools.
This goes hand and hand with everything in Tantra – everything in life essentially. And like the deep sighing technique above deep, slow breathing will facilitate expanded depth of feeling too. Deep breathing will carry a woman to orgasm easier and it can help her expand and lengthen orgasmic response too. As you remind her to keep breathing during her transition phase to orgasm she’ll recognize the benefits and use them again and again. If you coach her to breathe faster for a few minutes she’ll see that it helps her focus her mind and body and moves her closer to pleasure.
Breathing techniques help overcome fear, anxiety and holding back. Many women stop breathing during the buildup to orgasm. This prevents the necessary ingredient of oxygen to get to the blood and genitals to facilitate the orgasmic response. You can help her overcome this by reminder her to breathe deeply often. You can use your hands or a hand to brush her stomach and chest and she’ll breathe. Brushing the breath, and the energy being built up, toward her throat and head region (fifth and sixth chakras) will expand her orgasmic response and help her to spread the energy throughout her body. This moves the orgasm from the genitals to the full body which, in turn, expands the orgasmic pleasure.
Yes, we want higher orgasmic experiences. Who wouldn’t? But the true nature of the Tantric path is that these beautiful techniques cause pure expansion of the ‘self’. If there is a goal in Tantra it is this. The ability to guide our selves to a more full, expansive existence is one that Western cultures rarely teach. Knowing our bodies and trusting them and trusting our selves are prime lessons in life. It is the healing of ‘self’ that happens so that we are available to help our brothers and sisters in life.
This is why you can continue and know that you are being 100% effective in showing your beloved that she is a Goddess and that you hold her as the divine embodiment of the Goddess. It also means that you are the divine embodiment of the God-like nature that guides us and allows us to feel as one with everything and everyone.
Go for it!