I often receive questions that I think would benefit others to read about. Here’s is a new one from a visitor to this site:
I recently took a vow of celibacy, but am empathic. I want to work with my body and the energies inherent. Can this be done through Tantra without sex? I have been sexually abused, and need to work on the healing, therefore the celibacy. Also I want to bring back the magic, and sacredness of sex, which is something I have been lacking. What do you recommend?
Dear Seeker,
In many ways you are right on track in deciding to practice celibacy and to incorporate some Tantric practices also. The ancient Tantrics started with celibacy and after many years of dedication to learning the processes of focus, presence, breath and non-duality they would then approach the sexual practice much more prepared to handle the new set of issues that sex brings.
Loving oneself is a practice worthy of the time. I am tempted to tell you to study the non-sexual practices in our extensive library of videos, articles, e-books and e-courses. These are in our membership area of the site Tantra.com. The most important of these practices will be:
- Incorporate breathing deeply into your belly and relaxing
- Learning to move the energy of the breath through your body in an upwards direction
- Visualize the energy healing you as it passes upwards through your body, out the top of your head and then washes over your body on the out breath
- Practice your Kegel PC muscle exercises so that you retain awareness of your genitals and your interior topography. This will help you feel in command of your sexual self in the future. There are many more benefits too.
- Create bathing rituals for your self several times a month, at the least. Light candles, bring in flowers, run the hot water, float rose petals in the water, add a soft essential oil to the bath, have a warm, clean towel by your side, put on beautiful soft music, and maybe include a glass of wine to relax with. Love yourself up!
- Create an altar for yourself that includes things that you love and that represent the aspects of your life you want to grow. Have a candle you can light and meditate by, maybe include a journal in case you want to write while sitting at your altar. You can meditate, you can create self-loving rituals here, and/or you can simply look at your self in a mirror and eye gaze in a loving manner. This will calm you and focus you and help you delve the depths of your own soul. Remember to breathe deeply and be soft.
- Put up a symbol of a goddess or something that you can relate to that has feminine but strong energy. This will help guide you on your path.
This is just a very bare-bones beginning. There are many practices that you can learn and do to help you achieve the healing you long for. You have chosen wisely to begin again your life as a sensual, sexual, whole human being and you are to be commended! Search out books that have neo-Tantra practices that aren’t focused on the sexual aspects. You can move to the more advanced sexual practices once you feel more grounded.
Movement through dance and yoga is important to keep your mind, body and soul connected. It also builds new neural connections in your brain. Meditation and mindfulness practices do this too and can help in the future when the possibility of being ‘triggered’ by something in a new relationship might come up. Meditation and breathing practices will advance your sense of awareness and help keep you focused and expanded during orgasm.
Blessings on your journey!
