Every lover and every relationship, if it lasts, will come to the place of wanting more: more intimacy, sexual activity, and creative. In a maturing relationship we tend to stop exploring and being inventive. We reach the limits of our personal knowledge and experience and then we begin to desire something new and different without knowing how to create it.
This may create stress in the relationship if it takes a turn that doesn’t sit well with one of the partners. Things like unreasonable fantasies, avoidance of sexual activity, lack of intimacy, or even separation can be the consequences of a simple lack of innovative creativity.
Tantra has a lot to offer long-term couples who wish for more out of their relationship. When we can break out of the old patterns we’ve gotten into and learn new ways of being — physically, spiritually, and emotionally — we expand and open. This builds more trust in our selves, our partners, and our relationships. We grow and expand who we thought we were.
Some of the easiest and most fun ways to get creative with your lovemaking is to step out of the bedroom when making love. Atmosphere and setting play a role in the attitude and sentiment you bring to the experience. A slight bit of risk, like making love in your backyard, or on the kitchen table during breakfast, can add excitement to your life. You may suddenly find yourself in the mood more often.
You and your lover can explore some of the ways that this might work for you. Once you get started you’ll get even more creative. What have you got to lose? Here are a few suggestions:
Make love in the bathroom. Draw the bath with essential oils and bubbles, candles and music. Either before or after you bathe, spread a soft, warm towel on the counter, or put a big pillow in the dry sink, and one of you climb up for some great oral sex. You can use specially made oral treats to spread on your lover’s thighs or penis. Cleanup is extra easy – just climb into the tub!
- Make love in the hot tub. Under the stars – what more could you ask for? Have fresh water in the tub, and take a lubricant with you. Water doesn’t make the best lubricant so have a little handy for more sensual slipperiness. Use the side with an upper seat for oral sex or lean your partner over the edge for rear entry positions. Water makes us weightless. You can get into some very unique positions in water.
- The living room offers some great nooks and curves for sex. The arm of an over-stuffed couch creates a good backrest or padded surface for leaning over. The arms of a chair provide the perfect place to rest your legs for oral sex or intercourse. A hassock is wonderful for the classic Yab-Yum position in Tantra. With both partners in an up right type position the man’s penis will be more up right too. This is especially good for G-spot stimulation.
- For a quickie you might consider giving your partner oral sex while they’re working at their desk. Imagine working on that article or database for work and all of a sudden your partner asks you if they can get on their knees and lift your skirt while you work. Erotic – yes? This could lead to a longer “break” than you might expect.
- Have you ever tried that classic – making love in front of the fire with the plush rug, the champagne and your lover? If you haven’t, then do. The benefits are apparent and what a great holiday “get-away” that would make.
- The Kama Sutra suggests that couples get out into nature and watch animals mating. You can go on an outing to the zoo first, if you’d like, but go back home to try out your new ideas! Mimic the way tigers make love or maybe the snakes. By watching animals you’ll get more into your “animal” nature. You can even try a little roaring and growling! Making deeper sounds than you usually do can lead to a more explosive orgasmic experience.
- Try a love swing in any of a number of places in your house or outdoors. If you have privacy in your yard hang it under a large tree or patio roof. A warm summer night would be just the time. Love swings are wonderful for helping men train in better ejaculation mastery and they add real fun and exploration to the act of making love.
The Kama Sutra praises exploration and creativity within a partnership. You’ll appreciate your house so much more if you have explored and discovered each of its rooms hidden possibilities. Each place will have memories that will be lasting and titillating. It will be your little secret together.